How to overcome inferiority complex?

Are there parts of your self-concept with which you aren't happy? For instance, do you expect to be rejected by others? Do you evaluate your own performance less favorably than others? Do you feel threatened by people you view as superior in some way? If you answered yes to these questions, it is possible you have an inferiority complex.Lack of confidence and low self esteem can make a person feel inferior and much less talented than the people around him/her. Difficult though, overcoming inferiority complex is vital, because it builds up negative thoughts in a person's mind. As a result, he/she finds it difficult to do even those things that he/she could accomplish very easily earlier. If you are also facing the same problem, then you should learn to get rid of it as soon as possible. The tips listed below will help you learn how to overcome inferiority complex and increase your self esteem as well as your confidence tremendously.

How to overcome inferiority complex?

1. If your inferiority stems from the company you keep, stop associating with all those who make you feel small, inadequate or insecure of your place and position.

2. If the causes of your feeling of inferiority are your tasks at work or at social functions, stop accepting them. Know your limitations and the extent of your abilities. Refuse to become involved in anything that you cannot follow through successfully just because it puts you in the limelight for a while.

3. If people with names or titles make you feel small, self-conscious and insignificant avoid close contact with them. Why play "second fiddle" to them? Associate with those who come nearer to your standards and those who make you feel comfortable.

4. Place a price on yourself, on your knowledge, ability, dignity and self-respect. Refuse to serve as a mat for others to walk upon. Speak up. Voice your displeasure, your likes or dislikes. Do it again and again and before long your fear of speaking up and your feeling of inferiority will be gone.

5. It is commendable to seek higher levels but only when you have prepared yourself and not at the expense of your self-esteem and self-confidence.

6 The lack of proficiency also makes one feel inferior to others. If you are in the same situation, then you need to concentrate on improving your skills. Develop your aptitude. Keep yourself updated about the events happening around you. If you are more talented, at least equally skilled, than others, you won’t feel inferior at any point of time.

7 Some people enjoy degrading others. They deliberately wish to hurt and humiliate other people, in order to feel superior about themselves. If you are surrounded by such people, learn to handle them. Answer them back confidently. Remember, you should not let anyone hurt your self esteem.

8 Every person is gifted in at least one way. Give time to yourself. Explore your talents and try to improve them. This will build up your self esteem and make you feel good about yourself, banishing the inferiority complex.

9 Last, but not the least, learn to be happy and enjoy life to the fullest. Smile whenever you can. Do not frown. Do things that you enjoy. This will help you a great deal in overcoming inferiority complex.

If we follow the below given advices, the inferiority complex can be easily tackled.

1. Be a team member and work along with others.

2. Be balanced in self analysis and self consciousness.

3. Participate in group activities, so that inferiority complex can be over come to some extent

4. Never compare yourself with others unnecessarily.

There are number of people who were more unlucky than you. Some are even physically and mentally handicapped. But they are striving daily to lead a normal life. They are not blaming anybody and including God.

5. Don’t neglect your studies and your career.

6. See positive points in you only and utilize them utmost.

7. Read the life histories of 1.Abraham Lincoln, 2.helen Keller. They never get despired, but reached the top positions in life with hard work only. They were not born with silver spoon. Hard work and perseverance will never let you down.

Overcoming inferiority complex is entirely in your hands. Consult psychiatrist if necessary.

Cheers

Arun K.K

How To Control Your Emotions

How many times have you goofed-up a particular situation or a scene because of your anger? Almost all of us have faced such an incidence in life, when our emotions had completely taken over our mind. Result - bad behavior, unhealthy relationships and sometimes even termination letter. One must understand that there is nothing wrong in feeling strongly about something, problem occurs when it comes to expression. Remember, it is not what you feel that counts, what matters, is what you do with those feelings. Controlling emotions is essential when you are in a public place or in your place of work. If you have been facing problems in controlling your emotion, do not worry, as we have provided below some of the effective ways and methods to manage your intense emotions.

Controlling Emotions

• The first step would be to identify those emotions, which you need to control. Right from angry flare-ups to disgust, there are numerous emotional displays that you might need to restrict, when it comes to public places.
• For instance, if you get easily angered, the best bet would be to focus all the energies towards breathing. Breathing in and out a number of times, reduces heart rate and accentuates the oxygen flow in the brain.
• Remember, when you are focusing your attention towards breathing, the mind gets diverted from the emotions and feelings.
• Another popular way would be to count backwards from 20 to 1. This is found effective in controlling the heighten emotions.
• Visualization is yet another great way to control the angry flare-ups or stress. Try to picture something that would produce a soothing image in your mind. It can be a snapshot of a beach, a candle, moonlight and so on. Believe it or not - this would be a great way to escape from the stressful or high-anxiety times.
• This might come as a surprise to you, but directing all the energies towards a far-off stable object does a lot, in terms of relieving a person off his intense emotions.
• At times, it gets very difficult to suppress your emotion. In such a situation, excuse yourself from the group of people you are with and go to a lonely place. Give vent to your feelings and then return to the scene. Trust me, you would feel much better.
• Another effective technique would be to acknowledge or recognize the emotions you were feeling at the time of emotional outbursts. You would realize that it is generally the negative feelings that you want to control. In such circumstances, ask yourself the reason for the anger. Knowing the reason is likely to help you in future, when you come across similar situations. You would, in turn, react less.
• Remember, mindfulness holds the key for controlling emotions. So, be actively attentive of your feelings and emotions.
• Drinking lots of water is a good way to rule out the negative emotions. It would also benefit you in terms of health. So, just pick up a glass of water and slowly gulp it down. You will surely feel relaxed!

Cheers
K.K ArunKrishna

How To Be Happy

Happiness holds the key to lead a successful life. However, with busy schedules and the need to get to the top of the ladder, this basic element of life has lost its meaning. Today, it is much easier to find a frowning face than a smiling one. Most of you would agree that it feels good when you see someone smiling, while watching someone grimacing acts as dampener on your spirit as well. Do you want to know the secret of staying happy all the time? Happiness means different things to different people. You first need to figure out what happiness means to you and then, you can work out steps to seek the joy and bliss for yourself. If you want to get some more tips on being happy in life, go through the lines below.

How To Be Happy

• To be happy, you first need to find what is important in your life. There are certain things which take a prime concern in your life, like values, family, friends, music and your hobby, and bring a smile to your face. You need to realize what holds the key to your happiness.

• Recollect old times, when you were very happy. Think of what made you happy - was it the place you were in or the person you were with. What was the particular thinking or feeling that made you feel happy? Be with the person or visit the place again and experience the same emotions.

• Make happiness your priority in life. You need to take time out of your busy schedules to do things which are important to you and make you feel elated. If you love ice creams, indulge in having one. If you were once a movie buff, it is the time to catch up with old pals on a movie date.

• Start small and then, work your way ahead. It might not be possible to immediately start doing everything that makes you happy. Take 15 minutes off from the routine life and do things that make you smile, like going for a walk, talking to friends, reading a book, etc.

• Be optimistic in life and shoo away any negativity. Think positive things about yourself, your partner and life in general. In no time, you would realize that you are feeling happy all the time. If pessimistic thoughts creep easily into your mind, maintain a diary where you write all the good things. Read it often. It would help you get rid of the pessimism.

• It is often noted that people who are of the complaining sorts are mostly unhappy. They criticize and grumble about everything which happens in life and fail to see what good things they have in life. Be appreciative of the main aspects of life, such as health, job, love life, friends, family, money, etc.

• Lastly, smile always. It's easier to put up a smile on your face than to have a frown on. By smiling yourself, you can make others happy as well. Make it a habit and soon, you will see the people around you smiling as well.

Cheers
K.K Arun Krishna

Rain Reminds Me of My Mother

Rain reminds me of my mother. She loved rain. I guess I got that from her. She was enthusiastic about most everything that grew, or that was a part of the natural world. I didn't realize until she was gone how much she knew about all kinds of flowers and trees. I think she could identify almost any tree or flower. She would remark on the texture of the bark on trees or on the amount of shade a certain type of tree provided. She knew how long trees lived — she warned us not to plant a tree that didn't have a long life span. She knew the growing conditions of an astonishing number of flowers. Even today, my mother's comments about plants continually pop into my mind when I go to the nursery — what will grow in what type of soil, whether it likes sun or shade. I usually leave the nursery with more than I can get planted, because the sound of her enthusiastic voice is in my ear.

Like a lot of people in Texas, mother used hyperbole freely. In the mornings she would say, "Isn't it a glorious day?" She liked to say things were glorious. When she ate something she liked, you could count on her to say, "That's the best ____ I ever ate!"

Fortunately for me, I "caught" her enthusiasm for living in the world day to day. As a result, I almost always wake up in the morning full of anticipation. I listen to the doves cooing for a few minutes, a sound that makes me happy (as does the sound of a train at night). I usually hurry out to the kitchen to see what has happened to the trees and flowers overnight ... what the light is like ... and which birds are on the feeder.

My mother didn't like to shop. Once in a while she would take all of her daughters on a shopping spree together, but I think it was her way of trying to get it over with as quickly as possible. I don't remember her looking at things to buy for herself (like I do when my daughter and I shop together), though I have many memories of her finding things on the racks and bringing them for me to see. She seemed more interested in talking to the sales ladies than shopping. She knew some of those ladies by name, and they remembered her. She always took us to Litchinsteins, "the" department store in Corpus Christi at the time. One of the sales ladies, who looked rather snooty to me, always recognized her and greeted her like a friend. They would chat the entire time my sisters and I shopped.

Mom hated TV, and wouldn't allow one in the house until I was twelve. However, as she got older, she got a lot of pleasure out of watching the nature shows after she had worked in her yard all day. I believe she had a happy life after her six children were all grown and gone and she was living alone. A large part of her joy was because she could work in her yard and visit with those who lived nearby or walked by.

"Isn't it a glorious day?"

Her habit of talking to everyone as if they were a friend may have been why she was attacked in her home. A man crawled in her bedroom window. When she went into her bedroom he attacked her, leaving horrific bruises on her arms. He had brought cord to tie her up and intended to harm her further, no doubt, but she began to pray in a loud voice for the Lord to forgive him. He left.

When Mother was dying, she was very weak and could barely move or speak. However, she lifted her hand and pointed to the ceiling and said again and again what sounded to me like, "Up, up!" I asked her if she meant Heaven, and there was a twinkle in her eye that I knew meant yes.

I know when she got there she said, "Isn't this glorious?"And now, as the years go by, when it rains, I think of my mother, and it's a glorious day.

What My Boss Wants Me to Know

Well here it is, spelled out, 20 things your boss expects you to know but will probably never
take the time or trouble to tell you. Of course, all bosses have their pet peeves and individual ways of doing things. These can be learned in time by watching and probing. For those first hectic weeks, however this list will ensure that you start off on the right foot and stay there as you settle in.

Here’s the list. Memorize it. Apply it.Certainly you will succeed.

1. Don’t make excuses. With rare exceptions, such as life and death crises,no boss hears or cares why something wasn’t done. Get the job done and do it on time.

2. Don’t aim for perfection. Getting the job done is more important than doing it perfectly, which can count against you if it interferes with your share of the workload. This does not mean you can be careless or sloppy.

3. Doing more than is expected. Doing only what is expected and no more puts you among the mass of expendable workers. Take the initiative and follow up on your last job. Bosses value people who do their work and look for more.

4. Anticipate problems. Ask yourself what could go wrong. When your responsibilities depend on assistance from others, make sure they know and understand what you’re requesting. If the other person doesn’t follow through, you look inept with your explanation about John having promised to take care of it. Make sure that you check up on whether the work has been done. Remember that foul-ups, and unforeseeable failures by others, are a routine part of work life.

5. Handle problems yourself. Solve whatever problems you can and try to anticipate problems before they happen. If you lack the authority to handle the situation, come prepared with suggested solutions when you broach the problem. Even though the boss may dismiss your solutions and use others, you’ll gain a reputation as a problem-solver.

6. Be punctual. No amount of staying late makes up for your not being available when other people need help with their work. Habitual lateness may result in your losing your job.

7. Take being at work seriously. People quickly become aware of who makes an effort to be in regularly and who uses any excuse to take a day off.

8. Don’t be a squeaky wheel. As a daily work style, this approach is self-defeating. Don’t be seen as “here comes a problem,” or “here comes a complaint.”

9. Choose your battles carefully. In deciding when to fight and when not to fight, here are questions to ask yourself: How much difference does this problem really make in my job life? Is it permanent or transitory? Is it worth possibly making an enemy or enemies? And, most importantly, is there a realistic chance of winning? Don’t be among the people who fling themselves into no-win job battles. Ask yourself the questions above before doing something foolish.

10. Don’t hold a grudge. You can’t win them all. Even Babe Ruth, Joe Dimaggio, and Hank Aaron didn’t get hits about 65% of the time. Expect to lose sometimes and you won’t squander your energy, the goodwill of your allies, and the patience of your boss by turning every issue into a personal crusade.

11. Deal with the decision-makers. This is the best way to get action. Dealing with people with less authority is usually a waste of time and effort. Your most elaborate and impressive presentation often gets passed on to the real power in a watereddown version such as “Mark thinks we ought to change this procedure.”

12. Understand boss language. “If it’s not too much trouble” means “Do it…and the sooner the better.” “If I may make a small suggestion…” means “Do it this way.” “I don’t want to rush you,” means “Hurry up.”

13. Learn what others are doing. This is an essential often forgotten. People get caught up doing their individual tasks and forget the big company picture. The course of your career can be altered by keeping the overall picture in mind. What were last year’s triumphs and failures for the organization? What is being planned?hat are the organization’s major goals and fears? How does your job relate with all that is going on? Learn these things and you’ll know how and when to press for your goals.

14. Get along with co-workers. No boss is interested in who is “right” in a co-worker squabble: all he or she knows is that internal battles mean less production. To your boss, when you’re involved, you’re automatically wrong. For this reason, be willing to make concessions for the sake of maintaining the peace. This means sometimes letting others do it their way, even if you know your way is better and you can prove it.

15. Be discreet. Never discuss organization business and people in detail or by name in public places where strangers can overhear. Even in private, be discreet with outsiders about organization politics, problems, and business.

16. Develop a sense of timing. Have the patience to wait for an appropriate occasion or situation. Many factors – the boss’s mood, the success of your last project, the company’s latest quarterly earnings report – can make the difference between a yes and a no, a promotion and a dismissal.

17. Don’t lie. Nothing is so serious that lying won’t make it worse. If you’re caught in a lie, you lose your credibility, which can be harmful to your career.

18. Read industry publications. It’s important to know what is going on in your industry, and trade publications will help keep you informed. This exercise will also demonstrate you are interested in your job, your company, and the importance of
professional trade news.

19. Get to know your peers. Join and be active in one or more professional and trade organizations. Contacts you make and information you glean will aid you on a personal level whenever you change jobs – while improving your status with your current boss.

20. Make no assumptions. When you find yourself thinking or saying, “I never expected such behavior from her/him,” or conversely, “I’m so disappointed. I was sure they would do it this way…” you know you’ve made the mistake of projecting your outlook concerning others’ behavior. That’s a narrow, problem-generating attitude that irritates bosses.

As a result of this enormous pool of skilled workers, career competition is fierce, not only for
baby boomers but for everyone at every age. Under these competitive work place conditions good enough will never succeed. Understanding how to satisfy your superiors by doing things without them having to ask will help propel you above the status of just another expendable worker. By following these guidelines, you will be showing awareness and initiative that, if sustained, will surely be noticed.

Cheers
K.K Arun Krishna

A Software Engineer's feelings.....

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure.. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature.
Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer.
I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it. I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.
My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.
I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.
The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.
It's true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body . Quite a few to flirt, but no one to love. Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience.. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.
Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back.
I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing,

Cheers
K.K Arun Krishna

Ten Presentation Tips from Professional Trainer

* Confident on what you are talking about.
* You may not know all of the things on the topic you are presenting. When there are audiences asking question you may not know immediately, do not hesitate to tell them you will get back to them later and write it down on your notes.
* Your gesture and movements may affect your confidence. Stand still most of the time. Move when you want to approach audience. Hand gesture is important - do not put your hand in your pocket. Move them naturally to suit your speech.
* Do not put down all the words you are presenting on your notes. Instead when preparing, drop down only keywords onto your notes.
* Practice a lot. Practice in front of your friends and family and ask for feedback. Getting feedback is important because most of the time you may not spot anything yourself for improvement.
* If no friends or family members can help you, try to record to audio and even video and review yourself.
* After each presentation, hand out feedback sheets for audience to fill out. Usually you will receive some encouragements or constructive feedback for you to improve on.
* If there are questions you may able to answer in later part of the presentation, do not feel bad to tell them so. Better yet you can drop down the questions on the whiteboard or paper so you will remember to attend it when the time comes.
* Depends on the topic, try to add in some interactions with audience - asking questions, doing some small exercises etc.
* Use simple key points in presentation slides
. Use drawings and illustrations on whiteboard.

Cheers
K.K Arun Krishna

True Friendship

Ever wondered what is the real essence of the saying "A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed"? People talk about the true value of friendship without knowing what it stands for. True friendship is when there are no formalities; when the person you are talking about is counted as family; when the relation you share reaches a stage that even if you don't correspond for sometime, your relationship remains intact. Best friends need not meet up often to make sure that the friendship remains constant. The trust between best friends is such that if one friend falls in trouble, the other will not think twice to help.

If the bond between two friends is strong, true friends can endure even long distances. They find a way of being in touch despite busy schedules. True friendship never fades away; in fact it grows better with time. True friends don't need a posh place to hang out. Their most precious hideout is each others' rooms! True friendship thrives on trust, inspiration and comfort. Best friends come to know when the other person is in trouble, merely by listening to their "Hello" over the phone.

True friends don't desert each other when there is trouble. They face it together and support each other even if it hurts the other individual's interest. Best friends don't analyze each other; they don't have to. They accept each other with their positive and negative qualities. Nothing is hidden between true friends; they know each other's strengths and weaknesses. Best friends don't stand any outsider commenting or criticizing their friendship and they can put up a very firm resistance if anyone does so.

True friends are not opportunists. They don't help because they have something to gain out of it. True friendship is selfless. Best friends support even when the whole world opposes you. It is not easy getting true friends and if you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed. In this world of cynics and back stabbers, there are still some people who are worth being friends with.

Cheers
K.K ArunKrishna

Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

Cheers

K.K Arunkrishna

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