Forgetting the past regrets is a fundamental factor of living in the present. Regret is an issue that can bind people to the past such that they feel that they have lost something or did something wrong which they can never correct. But the fact is that regret cannot change any things whatever it keeps us in the loop. The thing is, accepting things will make us able to hold off the burden of regret and be able to accept our actions. This is one way that we can get into a letting go and acceptance
Why We Hold onto Regret
1. Unresolved Emotions
Regrets usually go hand in hand with the emotional luggage such as guilt or sadness and we might go on and want to recreate the past to be able to handle those emotions.
2. Self-Criticism
It is easy to be our own worst critics because we assume that had we chosen differently then things would have worked out.
3. Unmet Expectations
We demand a lot of ourselves and when we do not achieve what is expected, we regret it and regret is to be reminded of the ought to have done.
4. The Unchangeable Scared
The inability of the past to change makes us strive to fix it, even in cases where we cannot go back to change anything.
The Implications of the Anguish of Regret
• Mental and Emotional
Fatigue: This results in being constantly dwelling over the past which drains
your emotional resources and stops you thinking about the present.
• Impossibility to
move on: Grief locks you in chain of what could have, so that you are not able
to make new decisions or discover new hopes.
• Low Self-Worth:
Obsession with errors may cause a person to feel insufficient, and their value
might be associated with the past activities.
The Power of Acceptance
When you accept, it does not mean you like what has occurred or lack of ability to be wrong it means you now realize that the past can not change and it is time to proceed with what you have learned. Acceptance is recognizing that we relied on information, our resources and outlook at the time and we did the best with that available to us. It does not have us trapped in the situation of self blame.
The Way Back to Letting Go and Learning Acceptance
1. Own Up to What You Feel
The first thing in letting go is to identify your feelings. Regret is acceptable but it should not characterize you.
Question yourself, What am I exactly experiencing and why?
2. Shift Your Perspective
Instead of asking a question of what could have been done, change your question to what did I learn?
All the experiences, even painful ones give you great lessons and make you grow.
3. Forgive Yourself
We tend to be our biggest critics. Treat yourself just as you do to a friend.
Repeat good sayings such as: I did as well as I knew how and with what I knew at that time.
4. Concentrate on what You can Change
Although the future is not there, it could still be seen blank with opportunities. direct your inner strength toward what you can control at this time.
5. Release the need to Be Perfect
There is nothing such as pure perfection. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. When you accept this, you relieve yourself of having to get everything to be perfect.
6. Practice Self-Compassion
Take it easy on yourself. It is important to realize that everyone, including you, does make errors it is what makes human beings. Instead of criticizing yourself, learn how to console yourself.
7. Make New Positive Experiences
The easiest thing to do to curb the pain of regret is to come up with new memories. Do what makes you feel happy and happy with yourself, and that you are making a past you would be proud of tomorrow.
8. Live in The Moment
Regret makes us stay in what had already occurred. Be mindful in order to engage yourself in the present.
Go to the nature, meditate, or do something which makes you fully concentrated.
Living without Regret
Laying down the burden of the past means forgiving yourself of past failures. When you accept, it does not imply that you forget about your past mistakes or that you justify them; it just implies that you have made a decision not to allow the past mistakes to dominate your present and future. Moving on becomes easier because you are now able to be more self-compassionate and self-confident by valuing the lessons that you went through and just by becoming the person that you are because of the things that you have experienced.
Acceptance - The Art
• You accept that you are not who you mess up.
• You make space to grow, heal and see new opportunities.
• You are liberated of the past hence you can enjoy the present and the future.
Concluding Remark: Accepting rather than dwelling in regret is not a one time process. Your head will be light as more you will practice self-compassion and learn to perceive mistakes as offers, the more it will become. Which regret is one you want to re-evaluate and what do you see it is currently teaching you?
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